Welcome to the Problem Page. You can send in your conundrums but I wouldn’t recommend it.

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Dear Dr Debt,

I was recently made redundant and have already spent my pay out. I can’t find a job and am living off my credit cards. I don’t know what to do – I owe over 40k on them and there’s only about 5k left. Help!

Claire x x

Ask Me How to Beat the Banks

Claire, the solution is an easy one: get yourself down to the travel agents and book yourself the holiday of your dreams. Be sure to string it out for as long as possible. When the money runs dry, just come home and write it all off. It sounds like you’re screwed anyway so you may as well have a ball.

The Good Doctor

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Dude,

I just went ‘krupt and then the bastards are telling me I have to give them 50% of everything after bills. WTF?

Lenny

 

A Problem Shared...

Chill Lenny – this is an easy one. If you don’t want to give them any money then don’t work. Get yourself on the rock ‘n’ roll and sit it out. They’ll soon leave you alone.

 

 MC ‘Krupt

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Dear iwentbankrupt,

I recall a speech made by former Prime Minister John Major, ‘give the Germans five Deutschmarks and they will save it but give the British five pounds and they will borrow £25 and spend it.’

Given the respective economic positions of the two countries today, it would appear that the much maligned Mr Major had a point.

Graham L, Norfolk

 

Nobody likes a smart-arse Graham, particularly one who reinforces national stereotypes. Our credit card companies tried to spread their filth into Germany, but the sun-bed snaffling Krauts were too tight to go for it. Good on the Germans.

Herr Towel 

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Dear Mr Bankrupt,

I can’t sleep at night. My husband doesn’t know about the £30,000 I owe and I’m too scared to tell him. To make matters worse he works in a bank. Can you advise?

Sleepless Selena

Selena, you need to lay it on the line – either he starts scamming the till to get you out of a hole, or you’re off to find yourself a sugar daddy. If he starts whining, tell him it’s the only way he can redeem himself for his years of sucking up to the man. Hope this helps.

Derek Debt-Buster